Cat's Guide to Driving in Metro Manila

Hi. My name is Sugar. Driving in Metro Manila became more dangerous lately (I like to watch a lot of news on TV, you know?). And, I always wonder how Merzy fares in those perilous streets everytime she drives out in the morning. Her mother's trashbin even flies sideways when she takes out the car from the garage sometimes. I sit nervously on the window sill at night, waiting for her and praying that she comes home safe, especially during rainy days.

She forgot too many times to check her water reservoir and tires. She drives her car even in flooded areas. She honks even at pedestrians. Crazy, if want my opinion. But I love her to bits. She buys my favorite Mackerel flavored Friskies regularly and cried when I'm sick. She tries to get my litters, Bruno, Matilda and Sunshine, even though they're still too fragile to hold and I am scared to death she might drop them.

Here's my view on how to be safe on the streets:

Dealing with Stray Animals on the Road

1. PEATC and LTFRB need to look closely at major highways (i.e., Aguinaldo Highway) for the burgeoning number of squatters along the area and their wayward animals. They pose dangers to motorists.

2. Note to other pet owners: If you can't be responsible for your pet (e.g., let them roam even in highways), don't take one home. Road kill is on an uptrend even for my own kind.

3. Honk at the animals for at least 20 meters away to alert them. Our natural instinct is self-preservation but it would be impossible for us to run if your bumper is hairlength away from our fur!

Big Car Bullying

1. Public utility vehicles especially jeepneys, buses and trucks can be really nasty on the road. These drivers need to take some orientation seminar on road ethics!

2. Traffic authorities need to remind them to stay on the right lane. Maybe an implementing circular or ordinance to make the enforcement more forceful.

3. Take the offense: Keep distance and honk if they tailgate too close for comfort or try to swerve na alanganin.

4. For those monster, gas guzzlers SUVs that overtake you and snatch your rightful lane just because they're big, make their renewal of registration license a little bit harder next year by texting their irritating driving habits to LTRFB at 0921-4487777. In situations like these, do not get angry (because you will be late or get killed in case the big car driver is a psycho. Who in his right mind would counterflow and bully you out of your lane if they're not otherwise mentally deranged?) ---better to get even.

Corrupt Traffic Enforcers

1. According to Chairman Bayani Fernando, traffic officers or policemen should not take your driver's license. If you have an infraction, just take the ticket and pay them at any Metrobank branch. Let's make the traffic enforcement clean!

2. Kotong enforcers seem to be nowhere in sight during lunchbreaks, high noon at rainy days. Be extra careful during merienda times, breakfast and early evenings --- these leeches are on the prawl.

3. As a motorist, spend extra time familiarizing yourself with road signs, road courtesy and traffic rules. It's your first defense against corruption.

4. Never attempt to beat the red light in dimly lit intersections. Most traffic enforcers are just nearby hiding out in the dark or trees.

Rainy Days

1. Check your brakes and bring flashlight in car to check how deep are those flood waters before letting your car wade through it.

2. Stay in the middle. It's the best policy.

3. Apply a rain guard repellant on your windshield and side mirrors. Better to be safe than sorry.

4. Open your headlights and stop if it becomes zero visibility. Drive within the 20-40 kph range if road condition worsens.

5. Memorize the potholes, manholes and humps in your daily route including possible safe car parks where you can leave your car in case the rainwater becames too high.

The sad thing about humans is that they don't have nine lives. It really puzzles me why they can be so reckless on the road.